Blog

6 Mental Habits of People Who Manage Their Emotions Remarkably Well
  • 08/15/2018 - Written by:

The research is clear: emotional intelligence improves just about every aspect of our lives. Daniel Goleman, a well-known psychologist, has published extensively on the ways in which emotional intelligence improves our personal and professional lives. There are countless books on how to raise emotionally intelligent children for good reason. Increasing...

How to Get Over Relationship Anxiety
  • 08/09/2018 - Written by:

 With over half of marriages ending in divorce, one wonders "Why? What happens? How come so few make it?...And the ones that do, how happy are they?" These are all relevant, valid questions that should be explored; hopefully before one takes the plunge into a deep...

Anxiety: How Much Is Too Much?
  • 07/15/2018 - Written by:

I’ve written about the anxiety epidemic on this blog before, and I’m sure I will again. It’s more common than depression and often coincides with depression. For decades, psychologists have identified anxiety as a widespread problem. Addressing the problem is tricky because the goal...

What to Expect in Marriage Counseling
  • 07/08/2018 - Written by:

Couples seek marriage counseling for many different reasons. From infidelity to emotional affairs to depression and addiction problems, couples often seek a guide to navigate issues that feel overwhelming. It is a natural question to wonder what happens in marital therapy. Many clients worry that they will be ganged...

What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
  • 06/15/2018 - Written by:

The recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain have brought the issue of depression and suicide to the forefront in this country. They were incredibly successful people who appeared to be living the dream which made their suicides startling to most of us. Granted, we don’t...

Smartphone Detox
  • 06/07/2018 - Written by:

I see lots of couples in my practice. One of the first interventions I do is to have the couple list all of the ways they avoid eachother. Almost always the top three consist of email, social media, and texting: in other words, the phone. This article suggests what we'...

10 minutes a day for a happier life
  • 05/15/2018 - Written by:

Who doesn’t want to be happier? It’s a subject of conversation in counseling offices across the country. People seek out counselors and psychologists to improve their lives and happiness is a core component of our overall health. There are an infinite number of experiences that bring...

Not Talking About Mental Health is Literally Killing Men
  • 05/06/2018 - Written by:

The seventh leading cause of death for men is suicide. One in five men will develop a chemical dependence. Millions of men in this country suffer from depression. Although this article is a screener for a series of discussions that will take place in MensHealth, it nicely covers the need...

Financial therapy
  • 04/15/2018 - Written by:

Psychologists have been studying how people manage finances for years. Financial stress can lead to guilt, self-loathing, even depression and chronic anxiety. Most Americans are in a precarious financial position regardless of whether they have a good income. Even families who earn more than the average $55,000 per year can live...

Helpful Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child
  • 04/08/2018 - Written by:

Many children suffer from anxiety and it is sometimes our impulse as parents to minimize their feelings. I will often hear parents say, "What does she have to be anxious about- she's a kid," or "I think he's angry." Anxiety is not only real...

Why Self-Compassion Beats Self-Confidence
  • 03/15/2018 - Written by:

Confidence is a powerful force that draws us to others. Clients don’t typically pursue counseling with the expressed purpose of increasing confidence, but most people want to feel confident. In truth, people are often confused by what true confidence looks and feels like. Confidence is not bravado or...

The Importance of Trust in Relationships
  • 03/04/2018 - Written by:

It almost seems cliché to say that a relationship has "gotta have trust." John Gottman elaborates in this article about just how necessary trust is to relationships. He also expounds on communities, families, regions, and nations. The jaw dropping moment of the article...

Sex, Money, and In-Laws
  • 02/15/2018 - Written by:

Sex, money, and in-laws. Those are three of the most common battlegrounds in a marriage. I have discussed these issues with many couples and have found that money battles are uniquely complicated. How we spend money reflects our values. Couples might pursue counseling to address money problems and soon...

The Making of an Expert
  • 02/05/2018 - Written by:

This article by the Harvard Business Review highlights a simple idea: expertise comes from practice. They use many examples of how practice makes expert chess players, great coaches, fine surgeons, and inspiring leaders. As a therapist, I would like to also join the conversation that practice helps with our relationship...

How to choose a psychologist
  • 01/15/2018 - Written by:

Making the decision to pursue therapy typically comes after a long struggle. Most people don’t jump to calling a therapist after struggling with an issue for a day or two. Instead, they struggle for months, if not years, before seeking professional help for mental health issues. It&rsquo...

Self-Acceptance
  • 01/05/2018 - Written by:

   I can let you in on a secret. When I meet a new therapy client, no matter what the issue or diagnosis, I walk them back to my office thinking "I'm going to try my best to help this person self-accept." Leon Seltzer illustrates...

13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married
  • 12/15/2017 - Written by:

Choosing a life partner might be the single most important decision we make. It’s hard to think of another decision which has as big of an impact on our personal, professional, and family lives. Many people enter marriage unprepared for the strains and pressures that inevitably arise. The...

Can you limit your sitting and sleeping to just 23 ½ hours a day?
  • 12/04/2017 - Written by:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo In this video, Dr. Mike Evans suggests that movement is the single best thing we can do for our physical and mental health. He quotes 40% and 50% reductions to anxiety and depression, respectively, in people who move for 30 minutes per day. “We...

Loneliness and our health
  • 11/15/2017 - Written by:

Without question, loneliness is a health issue. The attached article suggests it is “deadlier than obesity”. Psychologists identify several types of loneliness. Social loneliness occurs when we don’t have enough friends for social contact. That type of loneliness is expected when we move to a new...

Be Kind to Yourself
  • 11/05/2017 - Written by:

            If my therapy office had a book of the month it would be Kristen Neff’s Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. I have copied chapters five six and seven many times in the last month. The crux of the...

How to Recognize Burnout before You’re Burned Out
  • 10/15/2017 - Written by:

Many of us know what burnout feels like. Psychologists define it as "the feeling of physical and emotional exhaustion resulting from the stress of working under difficult or demanding conditions". It is a condition that robs us of our motivation, creativity, and energy. It is insidious and...

Moving Beyond Mistakes in Marriage
  • 10/03/2017 - Written by:

Marital therapy, couples counseling, pre-marital counseling, and relationship exploration all have one thing in common: the process of discovery. The great couples therapist Harville Hendrix recently stated at a talk "Notice your partner is not you." The process of discovery may lend itself well to noticing this fact....

Want to lose weight? Stop trying.
  • 09/15/2017 - Written by:

We all know that America has a weight problem. Obesity is on the rise at a time when society increasingly prizes health and being lean. In our society, excess weight can affect our mood, confidence, and self-esteem. You have probably read statistics on how many people join a gym January ...

Want to Raise Successful Kids? Science says stop praising kids for their innate or God-given abilities, and instead focus on their effort.
  • 09/05/2017 - Written by:

 Executive Psychological Resources is a practice designed for adults. However, the attached article features strategies for encouraging child resilience and increasing problem solving skills. This article reminds me of how often adults have questions about parenting strategies and how to tackle a host of issues. Early in my practice,...

Building Resiliency
  • 08/10/2017 - Written by:

Resiliency is a term that is gaining momentum in the mental health world. I first heard it discussed during my time at the VA in Hampton, Virginia; the discussion hinged upon how to increase our psychological capacity to absorb trauma. I like to think about resiliency as the amount of...

Anxiety is outpacing depression
  • 08/09/2017 - Written by:

The idea that anxiety is now more prevalent than depression should make us pause. After all, depression is alarmingly common. The National Institute of Mental Health found that 16 million adults have at least one major depressive episode each year. That's 7% of the population. What's more alarming is that 18%...

Difficult Times
  • 08/07/2017 - Written by:

Whether it's anger management, burnout, grief counseling, or professional development difficult times require mindfulness. Here Jack Kornfield weigh in on mindfulness.