How to Get Over Relationship Anxiety

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 With over half of marriages ending in divorce, one wonders "Why? What happens? How come so few make it?...And the ones that do, how happy are they?" These are all relevant, valid questions that should be explored; hopefully before one takes the plunge into a deep committed relationship. However, it's difficult to know the reality of what emerges in a relationship until we are in one ourselves. 

     This article frames problems in a marriage and/or relationship as "relationship insecurity." She discusses two common phases of the emergent insecurities and takes the reader through active steps to address the problem. As usual, we bring most multi-step programs back to fostering security and autonomy in ourselves, but I particularly like this author's take on ways we can increase our own inner security, withdrawing projections, and ultimately enable our relationship to grow and thrive. She discusses how fostering a sense of safety within ourselves keeps us from projecting insecurity onto our partners. 

     I particularly loved the last principle she states to help fight relationship insecurity: "Go All In." I overheard a neighborhood friend say that about me the other day: "Blake goes all in." I have thought about it from time to time, the idea of going all in on everything one does. When our neighborhood friend said it, it was met with looks of acknowledgement and some laughs, (I do tend to over due sometimes) but I also agree with our article's author that sometimes it takes a leap of faith in trust, adventure, and security to fully feel our life's fruition. 

     Therapists tend to love process and multi-point essays on precious themes. I think you'll find this article full of great ideas for the process of working with relationship anxiety. Enjoy!

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